Tuesday, October 22, 2013

BIRTHDAY WISHES

You guys I know you're all wondering what to get me for my birthday (NOVEMBER 21ST, don't forget or I'll cry even more than I have been recently - MAYBE I'M A CRYBABY, I'LL ADD TISSUES TO THE LIST) so I decided to make a list to make it easy. I know, I'm like the best friend ever, no big deal. Anyway, let me know if you think you'll get any of these for me because I want to make sure that I don't get two of something - no need to be greedy or whatever.

LIST TIME!

- new iphone 5s in silver (because gold is for crazy people)
- new macbook (13" is fine, no need to be all crazy and get a macbook pro again - even though I DO watch all my tv on my laptop)
- donations towards my new home fund
- donations towards my new bakery (although let's be real, I haven't baked anything since August so maybe just place some cookie orders?!)
- gym membership (never giving up on the dream of bikini bod 2013)
- tissues

I know you're all like, money conscious (or whatever, ugh) so if two or three of you want to go in on one thing that would be totes fine with me. I'm not picky. I just WANT all this stuff! So make it happen. Please and thank you.

You're all beautiful and I love you! Most of the time.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

NO CAKE FOR YOU

Last night I was super looking forward to having a bowl of cereal for dinner (because who doesn't love breakfast at all times of every day??) but then I did this crazy workout and realized I couldn't have cereal because it would just reverse everything I had done. DAMMIT. So I made eggs with zucchini, squash, and parmesan cheese. Almost breakfast....

AND ON TOP OF THAT I MISSED THE FREE BACKSTREET BOYS CONCERT.

Clearly, my priorities have shifted.

Also now I really want cake. And froyo. (But I always want froyo, so....)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Caught

So. You guys. I was caught doing something that I shouldn't have been. And I wish I could say that I didn't do it, and that I have never done it, and that I'm going to stop doing it, but I can't. It's just too good.

I was caught watching an episode of the Bachelor.

Now, before you stop reading and completely discredit me...I don't do it because I think it's a good show, or I'm a super romantic, or anything like that. I do it because it's very educational. I need to know what the general population thinks is crazy and what is normal. And on the bachelor, ALL THE GIRLS ARE CRAZY. So basically, I watch it to know what I should not act like.

Does that make me crazy? Am I crazy for watching a show to learn how to not be crazy? Hmmmm.

My biggest issue with this show is that it seems like the girls who are the most insane get the roses (meaning they get to stay on the show, for the uninitiated). For example, there were a few episodes this season where the following happened:

GIRL: (crying) This is too hard, I can't compete with other girls for your heart. You can't treat me like this. I don't deserve this.
BACHELOR: I'm crazy about you. You're great. I'm going to break the rules and be right back. Here's a rose. Now you know I don't want you to leave.
GIRL: (in interview) I know he cares about me now because he gave me a rose.

WHAT.

Obviously, I'm paraphrasing, but SERIOUSLY? You manipulated him into giving you a rose. I'm definitely learning manipulation techniques by watching this show, that's for sure. But why are the guys encouraging the girls with this behavior?! If a girl is telling you that she doesn't know where the two of you stand every single time you talk...tell her you stand no where and to get the hell away from you. Don't give her a rose and keep her around. That is ridiculously high maintenance, and if that's what you're after...well, I have no words for you.

And not only that, but how do these girls say "I love you" so easily?! They've been with whoever the guy is for like five minutes. Really?! How the heck can they know that they're already in love? "I love his big beefy arms." That's a statement you can make. "I love who you are." HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHO HE IS AFTER BARELY ONE DATE?! No. You're wrong.

In conclusion, I think all the girls on the show are crazy, and the only way to know how to be less crazy is to watch crazy so you don't do it. Perfectly logical explanation.

SO THERE.

(Now if you'll excuse me there's a tell all episode tonight. Maybe he'll explain his thought process behind keeping the crazy girl for so long...yes. That's why I'm watching. Not because of his big beefy arms.)