Sunday, April 15, 2012

texts to jason!

Sometimes I have things that I want to share, but haven't figured out the right platform for the little tidbits of wisdom (sidenote: not really wisdom) that I want to impart. For these, I have Jason. I met him when I was moving into my apartment back in March of 2011. I was supposed to go to Disneyland with him the day after I met him with two of my other friends, but I had a liiiiiittle too much to drink the night before and was a tad too hungover to go. Jason was very understanding, even though he had driven all the way up to my house (20 minutes away), and pretty much ever since then we've been good friends. Or maybe it was the night that we went to a bar and I kissed a girl? One of those.

Anyway, here are some of the fun things I've shared with Jason for no other reason than I FELT LIKE IT.

"Would you like to vajazzle your va jay jay? Come on, you know you like to decorate your jewels!"

"Can you please approve my decision to order a pizza?"

"Omg my life is a never ending hilarious joke that only I think is funny. So it's a never ending hilarious inside joke"

"I am having a panic attack about how amused I am at my life. It's ridiculousssssssssss"

"I hate me. And everyone. Consistency!"

"I think I need to find someone I don't know to move in to my apartment so when I end up hating them I don't feel bad"

While drunk in a hotel room in Vegas: "I guess I could go down and play by myself (also hahahaha that sounds dirty, dirtier if I said with myself, side note wtf is wrong with me)"

Still drunk in a hotel room in Vegas:
Me: Hi my name is Esther and I make all sorts of terrible decisions
Jason: Your mom should shackle you down
Me: That's abuse and I don't appreciate you advocating for it
Jason: Hahahahaha
Me: Time to play, perhaps?
Jason: Yes but use protection
Me: They don't allow condoms at the craps tables. I've asked before

"Omg I'm wearing three different shade of grey right now. I don't know why I feel the need to share that but I do. I want to make a joke about how there's no black and white, only a hundred shades of grey and I'm wearing all of them. I look like I belong in pleasantville."

I hope you all have friends like Jason. Or friends like me! Because we're both awesome. YEAH.