Tuesday, February 19, 2013


So. You guys. I was caught doing something that I shouldn't have been. And I wish I could say that I didn't do it, and that I have never done it, and that I'm going to stop doing it, but I can't. It's just too good.

I was caught watching an episode of the Bachelor.

Now, before you stop reading and completely discredit me...I don't do it because I think it's a good show, or I'm a super romantic, or anything like that. I do it because it's very educational. I need to know what the general population thinks is crazy and what is normal. And on the bachelor, ALL THE GIRLS ARE CRAZY. So basically, I watch it to know what I should not act like.

Does that make me crazy? Am I crazy for watching a show to learn how to not be crazy? Hmmmm.

My biggest issue with this show is that it seems like the girls who are the most insane get the roses (meaning they get to stay on the show, for the uninitiated). For example, there were a few episodes this season where the following happened:

GIRL: (crying) This is too hard, I can't compete with other girls for your heart. You can't treat me like this. I don't deserve this.
BACHELOR: I'm crazy about you. You're great. I'm going to break the rules and be right back. Here's a rose. Now you know I don't want you to leave.
GIRL: (in interview) I know he cares about me now because he gave me a rose.


Obviously, I'm paraphrasing, but SERIOUSLY? You manipulated him into giving you a rose. I'm definitely learning manipulation techniques by watching this show, that's for sure. But why are the guys encouraging the girls with this behavior?! If a girl is telling you that she doesn't know where the two of you stand every single time you talk...tell her you stand no where and to get the hell away from you. Don't give her a rose and keep her around. That is ridiculously high maintenance, and if that's what you're after...well, I have no words for you.

And not only that, but how do these girls say "I love you" so easily?! They've been with whoever the guy is for like five minutes. Really?! How the heck can they know that they're already in love? "I love his big beefy arms." That's a statement you can make. "I love who you are." HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHO HE IS AFTER BARELY ONE DATE?! No. You're wrong.

In conclusion, I think all the girls on the show are crazy, and the only way to know how to be less crazy is to watch crazy so you don't do it. Perfectly logical explanation.


(Now if you'll excuse me there's a tell all episode tonight. Maybe he'll explain his thought process behind keeping the crazy girl for so long...yes. That's why I'm watching. Not because of his big beefy arms.)