Friday, November 16, 2012


So this week seemed to be going really slowly, and I wanted to figure out how to make it go I made a short dance video for every day! Here they are. WOO DANCING OH MAN I AM SO WHITE.

Hope you enjoyed! Ha. Ridiculous.

Monday, November 12, 2012

sometimes you f-eel like a nut

James: Oh! did I tell you that I got into a fight this weekend too?
James: it was nuits
the first fight of my life
and I have a slightly black eye
me: what happened?!
James: I was leaving a bar, and this guy shoved me over a fire hydrant
cuz I guess I was in his way?
and so I started yelling at him, calling him all kinds of names
and really if I had just shut my mouth, I probably would have made it home intact
cuz I just kept on him
until he came over and started swinging
me: did you fight back or was it just one punch and you were out?
James: his first punch took my glasses off
so then we started tussling
me: wow
James: it was in front of an apartment building, and someone in there yelled that they were calling the cops
and he ran off
and I got in a cab and went home
me: well good job not getting hurt too bad
James: it really was the exact perfect amount of a fight
I had something to show for it, but nothing was really hurt
me: were you by yourself at that point?
James: yes
if I had been with anyone else, I definitely would have let it go
me: you are a troublemaker
me: what did kelsey say about all this?
James: she was out of town this weekend
so I called her and told her yesterday
and she said "I told you to be safe while I was gone!"
me: good job listening
James: okay, let's all agree right now that I'm definitely not the kind of person who goes around starting fights
me: no
you're a huge fight starter
you're an instigator
if you had sent me a pic of that eel right after that, I would have broken this computer from laughing so hard


Friday, November 9, 2012

Locked Up

Everyone is always talking about their hearts. "I'm heartbroken." " My heart is full of love." "It warmed my heart to see that." "She stole my heart."

I feel like I put my heart away years ago and haven't had the courage to let it out. It's wrapped in a jail cell, where it can see, and it knows that there are things out there that it wants, but it can't quite reach them. Because if it reaches them, someday it'll break again, and it's too fragile for that. 

But hearts are made to be broken, aren't they? If they weren't, why would it be so easy to make them fall apart? That's how you figure out what your heart wants most. And yet, I keep it hidden. No freedom for my heart. 

Maybe I don't know what being heartbroken actually feels like because of how long it's been away from the world. Left in the past, never seen again. Even though love was spoken of, who knows if it was really there. Just because you say "I love you" doesn't mean your heart is there...or maybe that's not how love works.

"Quit playing games with my heart." 

Talking about hearts makes me lightheaded. Too nervous to even think about giving my heart away, and yet it seems so easy for you to talk about it, casually bring it up in conversation. 

I want the love. But I can't let my heart out of it's jail cell. Maybe you have the key.

(written 10/12/12, postponed for marination)

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Apples and spice and everything nice

I want to bake something to make you fall in love. I had a recipe once that was called "Boy Bait" or something like that, but I never ended up making it. I didn't want to use it on anyone. Use my powers for good, or something like that. I told a guy about it, and he said we should make it together. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that recipe had blueberries.

I want to bake something with apples and cinnamon, because that's what fall feels like, and fall feels like love. The beginning of new romance even though the leaves fall off the trees and everything becomes colder. Wearing scarves and gloves. (The most romantic thing I can think of - which actually isn't THAT romantic, and is actually kind of dumb if you live in a place where it snows - is sharing gloves with someone, where you each wear one and then hold hands. What? Gross.) Although fall is the gateway to the holiday season, where you're basically made to feel lonely if you don't have someone because of all the commercials. At least that's how I feel. (Duh. These are my thoughts.)

I very rarely bake with apples, because I'm bad at cutting things. I like to make recipes that are easy. Both because I'm lazy and because I'm still scared of things. (That describes my whole life.)

If this is fall, why is it 85 degrees outside? Give me apples and cinnamon any day. Seriously, if my room would smell like apples and cinnamon year round, I would be a very happy girl. (Hard to believe, I know, but...)


Just a reminder, kids. Internet/facebook stalking is BAD. DON'T DO IT.

I mean, do what you want, but in the interest of your sanity, I would say don't. Unless you like feeling insane. Which is possible. Maybe it's like a high without the harmful side effects? For you. Not for me. I don't know, though. I don't know you. I mean, I know some of you. I should take a poll.

Polls are fun. Sometimes. Depending on what they are.

This is a very wishy-washy post, but the main thing you should take away from this is INTERNET STALKING IS BAD AND HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.

But like I said, do what you want. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

oh, life

Facebook has done it again!

After some (mild) facebook stalking, I came across a person I went to high school with who had quite an esteemed job. Good on him! BUT it made me feel bad about myself. SO I texted a mutual friend about it and the following conversation ensued. HOORAY!

Me: What the actual fuck, [name] is a [good job that people our age don't normally have]?
Her: What??
Me: That's what it says on Facebook
Her: That's weird.
Me: Yeah, right?
Her: Completely weird. Makes me feel old and unaccomplished.
Me: He's got us surpassed with everything, married, real job. He lives in [place] though so he doesn't own a house! (neither do we)
Her: Right. Dang. We suck at life I guess. If we continue to compare ourselves to [him] that is
Me: Yeah, but like if he is this accomplished...wasn't he like super immature? That makes it even more pathetic, haha
Her: Aw, dang, I didn't even think of his high school persona. He was pretty immature. Man... now I need to get drunk and forget my sorrows. Too bad I'm at work. Lame
Me: It's ok, just remember we're still better than other people (coughcough[name]coughcough). Man I'm a bitch
Her: Bahahahaha but it's so true. And [name] too
Me: Yes. So we're at least two people above the bottom, and you're above me so...high five
Her: Hahahaha...we might be on even ground. You graduated college. You might be above me even
Me: Yeah but you're living with a dude. Extra points. The only thing I have going is I'm not living at home. Plus going to school now is better because of the messed up economy. This is a fun game! Haha
Her: Hahahaha really it is
Me: The sick and twisted game of life, what earns you more points
Her: Hahaha
Me: Plus I think I lose points because I have Papa John's texting me all the time trying to get me to order a pizza hahaha
Her: Hahahahaha that text just made my night