Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A Scary Story for this Month of Scariness

You guys. I don't know why I have this story in my head, but I do.

Two years ago, I was selling tickets for a comedy show at the Comedy Store in Hollywood for a friend of mine. This was a pretty regular occurrence, but I think it might have been awhile since I had sold tickets, so I had invited some friends to come along. Only one guy took me up on my offer, and he decided to hang out with me while I sold the tickets instead of sitting by himself. Anyway, the line is out the door, halfway down the block long, because the headliner was a pretty big name. (No one I can remember now, of course, my memory is terrrrrrrrrrrible.)

Anyway, it's October 5th, and they had already decorated for Halloween, you know, as you do as soon as October starts. They went all out dressing that place up, skeletons, cobwebs, fake spiders, blood drops placed randomly, orange twinkle lights...The works. So this girl gets to the head of the line, and I swear, she's stone cold sober, and she asks "like, oh my god! Is this place, like, always decorated like this?" And without hesitation or even cracking a smile, I say yes. And she responds with "that's like, so cool! I thought it was like, just for, like, Halloween or something." And I say, "nope, it's like this year round." And she says "cool!" and walks to get her seats.

My friend leaned over to me and said "I think I love you."

That was the only time my boyfriend ever told me he loved me. And we weren't even dating yet!!!!!! Our first date was a week later!!!

But I killed him.

Sorry for the twist. I just needed to finally get that off my chest, and figured two years was a long enough wait.

I feel much better now.

Now there's a scary story for you. Happy Halloween!

April fools?!? What month is this? I don't even know. Give me some ice cream though.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

my daily struggles

should I eat those powerberries
should I get froyo for lunch
I want pizza
ooh maybe Indian food
why is it so cold in my office
I'm so thirsty
I want ice cream
I have to pee
would it look weird if I started doing squats or pushups right now
I have to pee again
why isn't there ice cream here
I want something sweet
there's nothing in the kitchen to eat
I don't know what show to watch next
should I catch up on my feed reader or watch a show
should I watch a show or read another few chapters in my book
I have to pee
why did that cashew taste like a peanut
I'm tired
I'm hungry
what should I do for lunch
don't call anyone a fuckhead even though you're thinking it
how are people so stupid
murder is wrong
ugh I ate too much chocolate