Notification Validation

Facebook is probably ruining my life.

The red notification number. That's all I want to see. When I'm on googlereader reading blogs, I just toggle my screen to check on Facebook to see if I have any new notifications. Watching things on hulu, during the commercial breaks, I check. WRITING A BLOG POST, I CHECK.

For me, and probably a lot of people, a notification is the ultimate sign of validation. I'll post a status, hoping that someone will like it or comment on it. And if they don't, usually within 15-20 minutes, I delete it. Because I can't stand the fact that I've put something out there that no one can identify with. What's the point of sharing something if no one cares?

I know, you're supposed to do everything you do for your own enjoyment, but...sometimes, the validation is what you need. Most of the time, I need validation. I don't even have a good reason for it, really. My parents are still together, I had no real childhood problems (as far as I know), I wasn't adopted or abandoned (except by an afterschool program, but they didn't really have their act together)...so why do I need to be validated so much?

This new feature facebook has, where it tells you if people have seen your message is really screwing me up too. They had that on my old phone with bbm, where it would show you if something was delivered and then if it was read. It gives you a complex! "They've seen my message, but they haven't responded. Why haven't they responded? Do they hate me? Are we in a fight that I forgot about?" Just thinking about it is stressing me out!

I need a xanax. (Is that what people take? I should get on facebook and check that.)


*Things I didn't touch on that facebook is also stressing me out about: Business success, engagements/new relationships, babies. I don't have any of these things. WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH.