Thursday, June 23, 2016

Please Just Stop

Do you ever have that feeling where you just can't stop doing something? No matter how many times you tell yourself to stop, or don't do it, you still just keep doing it? I have that problem a lot.

My biggest memory of this is from when I went on an Alternative Spring Break trip to Israel in college. I had met this really great guy (it's always because of a guy, isn't it?) and we had completely hit it off. We lived across the country from each other, but we had talked about how we had such a connection that it didn't matter. We even discussed the dates we were going to go on when I came to visit him. He had my same sense of humor and a similar personality - another participant on the trip joked that we would get married and have dry, sarcastic, Jewish babies and it would be great!

Then, I got back from the trip and apparently went crazy. I texted him, emailed him, called him, and sent him a Facebook message without waiting for any sort of response. Sent him a few more messages...and then he finally responded. "I am overwhelmed by the amount of times and ways you have tried to contact me." Then something about how we should take a break from talking for awhile and how he wished me the best.

I remember getting that e-mail and feeling absolutely crushed. I probably knew that what I was doing was too much, but I was so excited and wanted to share things with him that I thought he would like that I just couldn't stop myself.

Well, I have the feeling I'm doing it again. There was someone that I was (finally) interested in, and it didn't work out. We decided we would be friends, but I have the feeling that I'm ruining it. Especially now, since there are so many more ways of contacting people - still the basic e-mail, Facebook, texting...but now there's also twitter, snapchat, and instagram. That's way too many ways to be contacted in one day. And I KNOW THAT. But I did it anyway.

This post is probably too much even, but whatever. I'm hoping that by writing this I'll finally chill out. I printed out a picture a few months ago that I have taped to my computer screen which says "Please just stop," since this seems to happen to me a lot. Hopefully it'll help.

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