Week 2 night 1!
When we last left off, Chad had gotten kicked out of Paradise after turning it into HELL.
Chad yells at Chris Harrison for a bit, who has been edited in from some woods-y area from Woodland Hills because he isn't in the same area as Chad anymore. And now Chad is eating protein in the car as he drives away. Bye Chad!
Leah arrives! She was on Ben's season and spread rumors about Lauren B, who Ben ended up with. Whoops! She's looking for Chad. Because they both really like protein, so it's a match made in heaven. You should just leave and find him, Leah! BYE. Since Chad is gone, she goes around trying to meet all the guys to decide who to go with. She ends up asking Nick on a date. Amanda is sad because she likes him.
We come back from commercial to watch the twins eat bananas. Jared and Vinny look on, practically drooling. "That's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the night."
Lace talks to Jorge while she takes shots. Then she pulls a quick high school moment and asks Vinny to talk to Grant and then send him her way. Vinny goes back and Grant goes over to talk to her! Grant tells her that he's pretending like the whole thing with Chad never happened.
Leah and Nick's date. Leah trips. Whoops! They drink passion fruit margaritas. "Passion fruit, lots of passion in there!" Leah says that she's attracted to that lumberjack look, and that makes me think she doesn't know what Nick looks like. Leah and Nick kiss! And he's super not into it...but kisses her anyway. Ew. AND THEN SHE SAYS "That last splash just got me so wet!"
Leah and Nick are back from their date. "It was lovely," they both say.
Uh oh....another date card arrives...and it's for NICK! Two dates in one day?! Oh snap. Leah is SURE that he's going to pick her buuuut instead he picks Amanda! Leah tries to psyche Amanda out by telling her to stop being her. Because they "look similar"...Leah is crazy. She's on a rollercoaster of emotions. THE FIRST DAY SHE'S HERE.
Amanda and Nick's date was cute! He's so nervous. Also, Nick's job is "Runner Up."
Bird! Fire! Crab! Leah being sad. Nick and Amanda kissing.
Sarah goes over to talk to Vinny because she hasn't connected with anyone yet. Vinny walks her home! Cuuuuuuuuuute.
Carly and Evan are hanging out. They decide to go to bed (separately)...Carly kisses him. EW. No. Evan is in loooooooove. Carly says the kiss was VERY bad. Ewwwwwwww.
Lace decides to get down and dirty with Grant to make sure he gets his rose. They cover the camera up to get it on...but then somehow, the camera gets uncovered! SEXY TIMES.
Rose ceremony is coming up! The guys have the power this week, giving out the roses.
Sarah and Vinny hang out, and then Vinny kisses her! Sarah likes him. Izzy and Vinny talk now...and then Vinny downs his drink, likely to try and sterilize his mouth, and then kisses Izzy! OH EM GEE. SO sleazy! Vinny, you suck.
Leah tries to secure Nick's rose, but he thinks he's going to give it to Amanda. Leah tries to get Daniel's rose instead and they have a very confusing conversation about onions and oranges. But Leah thinks she'll get his rose!
Daniel decides to go speed dating with all the girls to decide who he'll give his rose to.
Rose ceremony! Three girls could go home. Haley and Emily count as one because they're twins.
Grant gives his rose to Lace.
Nick gives his rose to Amanda.
Evan gives his rose to Carly.
Jared gives his rose to Emily (and Haley).
Vinny gives his rose to Izzy.
Daniel gives his rose to...Sarah!
Bye Leah and Jubilee! Jubilee is probably going to stay away from Mexico. Leah should go find Chad.
Uh oh. Josh has arrived. Josh is Andi's ex-fiance. He comes in with a date card...and asks Amanda! He's very into Nick's ladies. Rude. Apparently everyone is just finding out about Nick and Josh being final two...Does no one watch The Bachelor?! Jeez.
Side note: Daniel's Canadian accent is the best.
Montage of Josh and Amanda's date intercut with Nick being sad walking on the beach. Josh and Amanda kiss and Josh moans a lot.
Evan has a date card! He asks Carly and she definitely does noooooot want to go. Very reminiscent of when Ashley asked Jared last season. Yikes. Carly doesn't even change for her date, that's how reluctant she is to go. Her romper is super cute though.
Their date is a mess. They have to eat the world's hottest pepper and then kiss for 90 seconds. Evan is super excited, and Carly wants to die. EW. Somehow they manage to get through it, kissing for just over 10 seconds longer than they have to! Evan also cops a feel while they're kissing. And there's a drool string when they separate. So gross. And thennnnn Carly goes and pukes. We feel the same way, girl.
Emily and Jared are laying in one of the sun beds. She has a four step system to get him to kiss her. Step one: small talk. Step two: compliment him. Step three: turn on your side or find a way to get him to put his arm around you. Step four: put your face near his face. But Jared doesn't kiss her until she's starting to walk away.
Josh and Amanda are back from their date. Josh just leaves everything in god's hands and doesn't care about Nick's feelings. And now Josh is making out with Amanda in front of everyone. That's so rude, guys. Rude of Josh because he doesn't care, but also rude of Amanda because she's in front of Nick, and they went on a date and like...does she not care about his feelings? What the hell. Also Josh moans a lot when he makes out with Amanda. Ew.
Week 2 night 2!
We start out with Daniel counting out how many abs he has, just in case he lost one during the night. Josh and Amanda are also making out.
Daniel is trying to get Nick to confront Josh about their whole relationship but also, no. Nick is taking the high road and avoiding them.
Daniel is now trying to get Sarah to be more interested in him. Sarah is intrigued by him but also cautious because he's a little weird.
Aaaaand Christian shows up! He was on JoJo's season. A lot of the girls are already interested in him. Christian asks the guys to go chat to see what the deal is, and then he asks Sarah to go on his date! Daniel is worried.
Lizard of some kind! Birds!
Carly and Evan are now describing their date to different people. Carly is explaining it as deadpan as you possibly can, and Evan is pretty much in love. Carly decides that she needs to tell him that she's not interested in him. Which, good for her that she's actually telling him. He seems to take it pretty well although he's bummed about it. Jared describes it to Carly pretty well: "You guys went on a date, and you threw up. I don't think it's going to work out."
Christian and Sarah's date is really cute. They do a bunch of physical activities and Christian is super supportive of her. They kiss!
Evan is still upset, trying to decide if he should pack his stuff up and go or if he should try and make a connection with someone else.
Brandon is here! From Desiree's season. Even Chris Harrison doesn't remember him. He gets a date card! He asks Haley. Carly is sad.
Haley is drunk! She's an adorable drunk. She started crying because she wants the girls to braid her hair!!
Christian and Sarah come back from their date and Daniel is sad that Sarah seems interested in Christian.
Josh and Amanda are still making out in front of everyone.
Daniel gets some chocolate strawberries and champagne and shares it with Sarah. She seems to like him because he's keeping her entertained and making her laugh a lot. But they also seem to have a good serious conversation. Sarah says that she had a good time on her date but that it would've been more fun with Daniel. Aw, Daniel says he wants to kiss her...but he doesn't want to give her the zika virus.
Brandon and Haley go on their date. Haley and Emily are going to play a trick on Brandon and do a switcheroo. Whyyyyyy. Brandon can't tell. That's sad. But also it's the first date so like how would you expect him to figure that out so quickly?
Josh and Amanda, Grant and Lace, and Vinny and Izzy are all sitting on the same bed thing making out with each other.
Evan has decided to go pursue Amanda because they have the "parent" connection. We'll see what happens with that...next week!!!